No Excuses

We are responsible for our own lives. When we do something wrong, it becomes our responsibility to fix it the best we can. We cannot justify our wrong actions, only God can justify us. A large part of repentance is recognizing that we cannot fix things on our own. Our wrong choices require an act of forgiveness from the other person to restore the relationship.

Saying I am sorry means giving up any excuse that justifies your action. 

For example if you hit your sister and later say, “I am sorry for hitting you, but you were mean to me first.”  What you are really saying is that  the other person wants you to be sorry, but you were justified in doing your action because of x. Saying I’m sorry and seeking reconciliation requires owning up to your sin instead of attempting to pass the blame. When you can give up your excuses and say I am sorry without any excuses, then you can truly be sorry. The sincerity of your apologies are determined by the amount of ownership you take of the problem. In most cases, problems in relationships come from both people. You don’t get to help the other person own their part of the problem, you can only own your own problems and work to make them better.

You need to change your heart, not just manage your sin.

Sin demands a solution. We can attempt to manage our sin the way we tend to diet - just a little less of this and a little more of that and I’ll be ok. But just like dieting, that method of sin management seldom works long term. Instead God wants us to bring our brokenness to Him so He can change who we are deep down. We should continually allow God to “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). We can do this through the transformation of our mind (Romans 12:2) as we invite God to “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). As our heart is changed, making good choices will flow out of us. Instead of food controlling you, food should nourish you to the point that you feel like going out and doing something. Our spiritual transformation should nourish us in a new way so that we are fueled to go out into the world and do something with the new life that God has given us.

When you fall in love with God, sin falls away.

Often we can’t address the problems of sin in our life by dealing with them directly. We deal with sin by addressing our relationship with Christ. The more in love we are with God, the more temptation will pull us toward Him for deliverance. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). The way of escape from temptation is turning toward our relationship with God; turning any other direction will lead us into a new, often worse, temptation.