Magnify Your Love
Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity. Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command, that they may be blameless. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work. 1 Timothy 5:1-10
You cannot love your enemy and hate them at the same time.
The clearest expression of loving someone is providing for their needs. The first need someone has is to be alive—all other needs are contingent upon this need. This is why Jesus asserts that the resurrection applies to the Patriarchs (Matthew 22:29-33), and that the greatest act of love someone can do is to give up his life (John 15:13). It is hard to hate someone you are providing for. If you don’t give life to (provide for) your own family, then you aren’t doing what even the unbelievers do (Matthew 5:43-48). Your family is an extension of who you are, they will magnify your good and bad habits. Family relationships can be challenging, but they are also rewarding.
What if God wants you to give up your life and even what is important to serve your spouse and kids.
The greatest mission God has given you is to minister to your family. Many times the missions that are important in your life become less important when the more important things require more of your time. If the most important mission of your life is to love in truth, you won't have the time and energy to hate. “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;” (Romans 12:9-10). The more you cling to what is good—love—the more your love will be sincere, without hypocrisy. Love without hypocrisy will not remain within its limits. It begins in your immediate family, but should overflow to those who are outside your family—including your enemies. When you cling to love, you will naturally abhor, dislike, what is evil. If you love what is good, it increases in goodness. If you love what is evil, it takes your love and asks for more and more without returning any good.
Your family is the Promised Land God has provided for you.
The optimum setting for you to sow good into is your family. Your family becomes the deepest expression of yourself and what you cling to and what you abhor. The world was created to be good, it was man’s desire that brought evil into a good world (c.f. James 1:14). Our desires need to be aligned with God’s desires so we love what He loves. The first good relationship God created was family as He made mankind in His image. When you truly, deeply love your family, it allows your love to overflow to your enemy who you might not naturally love. Life is a process of giving up your desires to serve others first, and you learn that by loving your family. Enjoy the promised land God has given you, your family, and allow your love to flow beyond the limits of family.